Sometimes….a meme can say it all.

Taken from thelemia 

Sometimes I just need: Feel despretly sad and really really sorry for myself, even if I know others have it just as bad
Sometimes I want: To steal children from neglectful parents
Sometimes I like to: Fantasize about having a perfect family and a baby to sleep in Evan’s crib.
Sometimes all it takes: Is for me to see a pregnant women, all blissful and happy to break down and know that will never be me again.
Sometimes I picture: What Evan would look like now.
Sometimes I wish: I could go back in time and let them induce Evan earlier and possibly save his life
Sometimes I find: The courage to think about another pregnancy
Sometimes I take: Way to much neglect from those who claim to love me, but never have time for me.
Sometimes I look: Like a women who has stopped caring how she looks and has given up
Sometimes I hate: My life, this life, all of it.
Sometimes it’s nice: To just walk in the park and watch my puppy play
Sometimes it hurts: to know I am a minority and not many people could understand what I have been through.
Sometimes it makes me happy: That some people to understand, and that I can talk openly with them about it,
Sometimes it’s sad: when I answer no, when people ask if I have children
Sometimes I listen: to the sound of my puppies heartbeat and remember the day Evan’s stopped beating
Sometimes I sleep: way to little, due to my obsessive nature and the need to finish everything
Sometimes I like to watch: brainless fun movies that make me laugh and forget the sadness
Sometimes I feel: like I am fake ok. Like the anti-depressants and making me less sad then I actually am
Sometimes I rant: about how much the world annoys me, but don’t do anything to act on it or change it
Sometimes I never: think I can survive another pregnancy and maintain a shred of sanity
Sometimes I really: hate that I will never, ever, be the same person I was 9 months ago, a person I really really liked.


About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on October 21, 2008, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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