Memories

First off WTF is up with LJ? I am getting so annoyed. It’s not alerting me when I get a reply, and it keeps screwing up all my dates saying it’s December 31st now, like it just jumped from Nov. 22 to December 31st. Grrr. I am paying for this service.

Anyways-continuing with Evan memories, Here is what I was saying at this time last year.                                                                                   A Chant for Transition

You ate for two
You slept for two
Now you hurt for two
Now you have the strength for two
Just do it

It hurts because you’re doing it
The more it hurts the more you’re doing it
Of course you can do it, you’re doing it
Just do it

The more it hurts the sooner you’re through it
You’re doing more than you did before
You’re doing more than you ever thought
Don’t think about it, just do what you did before
You’re doing it

The baby is on the way
It’s coming
The baby is on the way
Coming and coming
The more you hurt, the less the baby hurts
The more your hurt, the less the baby hurts
Keep doing it

It’s your baby
Nobody else can do it
Your baby wants you
No one else will do
If you want your baby to stay with you
Stay with it
You can do it

Want it to come faster
Want it to go deeper
Want it to come faster
Want it to go deeper
It is coming faster
It is going deeper
Keep doing it

This is what a woman can do
This is who
This is how
This is where
This is when
The baby is why
Now do it

It can’t go on like this
It doesn’t
It can’t go on like this
It doesn’t
you are, doing it
You are, doing it
There’s nothing else to do but do it

After it’s over it doesn’t hurt
After it’s over you have the baby
After you have the baby it doesn’t hurt
You’re doing well
The baby is doing well
The baby is doing well because you’re doing well
Keep doing it
You’re doing it
Just do it

While you were saying you couldn’t make it
Your body was taking it
While you were saying you couldn’t go through with it
Your bby was coming through
While you were saying you couldn’t do it
You were proving you could do it
This is how it has to happen
This how it always happens
This is how it’s happening
Keep doing it
Get down under the pain
That’s where the baby is
Get down, below the pain
That’s where the baby is
The baby is big enough to live
The baby is big enough to hurt
You’re big enough to have the baby
You’re big enough to have the hurt
And still keep doing it

You’re being born yourself
There’s nothing else
You’re being born yourself
There’s nobody else
It feels like dying because it’s being born
It feels like dying because it’s being born
It feels like dying because it’s being born
You’ve done it all before
Just do it

One at a time
It’s all right
One at a time
Your breathe
One at a time
Try it
One at a time
Babies come
One at a time
Breathe
One at a time do it
One at a time you’ll do it!

And now the actual journal post from that day: 
So my Strep test came back negative. YEAY! No antibiotics for me in labour wooohooo.
Now if only my blood pressure would stay down, its been around 140/90 which is borderline high for 3 weeks now, makes midwife nervous, says I need to rest alot and drink lots of nettle tea. My only saving grace now is that there is no other symptoms of pre-eclampsia at all, urine is constantly fine w/ no protein and don’t have any tummy pains, headaches or blurred vision. She said to me yesterday that it would be good if baby came earlier instead of later and so wanted to do a cervix check to see how things are coming along down there, she said my cervix is soft and starting to efface, that the vaginal opening to the cervix is open but the inside it still closed up. She gave me a mild dose of homeopathic Blue Cohosh to take 3x a day for the next week to see if that helps cervix move things along at all.

Being that this is my first baby, this was first run in with a cervical check, OMG OUCH! I yelped, it hurt me a lot and was not pleasent, she helped me to practice breathing through the sharp cramping and it did pass as I adapted to it, still ouchy! Afterwords I had bleeding and painless but really strong braxton hicks for the rest of the night, last night at birth class I told her so and she said its cause she stirred it up and it was a normal reaction. Now I am finding myself nervous about the pain I am facing in childbirth. At least she showed us a great video last night about the natural high that comes with childbirth if we let it be, that helped my confidence a bit. .

 

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About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on November 24, 2008, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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