I have not cried this much since the weeks after Evan’s death.
My heart is just shattered. I know she dosent have Evan but I feel like she get’s my dream.
I just bawled so hard I threw up, I haven’t done that in forever.
I just can’t stop the tears, I am a mess today, this hurts deeper then I could have ever imagined.
I am thankful I have Oliver who is deeply concerned with my loud wailing, at least I feel a little less alone with him here.
I need therapy stat, I feel likeI am going mad with grief and crazy fast intrusive thoughts. I need rescue remedy and chocolate and wine.
I need a should to cry on, a real like person to cry to, luckily the stillbirth mom’s group was good enough to let me bawl in starbucks last night. Today it’s worse, it’s had time to sink in.
1 dead baby boy for us last Christmas
1 living baby boy for Dave’s sister this Christmas.