The question of fairness and balance…
It has been a long 24 hours since the news of Dave’s sister came and we have both cried alot and I am bitter, and unapologetic. Why should I apologize for being angry with how we received the news and for being heartbroken that she now has the opportunity we lost. I feel like she get’s Evan. I know it’s ridiculous and not at all true. But she brings home a live a baby boy one year after her brother’s died.
I hate to get back into the holier than thou discussion- but seriously, if you haven’t been following my comments re: Dave’s sister over the years then I will summarize:
Sarah is an adopted little sister, she was taken away from her mother, she was born with fetal alcohol syndrome, however, aside from bad health as an infant and impulse control, there are no other obvious side effects. However, because she has fetal alcohol, every single time she is an evil bitch, which used to happen a lot, Dave’s mom would say, oh it’s not her fault, it’s the FAS…..
Skip ahead past a bumpy childhood of Sarah being spoiled rotten and Dave always feeling like second child….Skip past the part were Dave resented his sister so much he seriously plotted her death when he was 14, then felt bad and fesses up. Let’s move into adolescence. Sarah runs away from her "Very good, treat her like a princess and spoil her rotten" home to become an underage stripper and do a lot of coke. Here she meets a married man who cheats on his wife with her. She introduces him to coke, they do a lot of coke together and screw often behind his wife’s back. His wife one day finds out and leaves him. He keeps dating the stripper. They get an apartment together and take up cooking coke and turning it into crack because the high is better and it goes further. The girl says she wants to go to school, mom gives her 10k to go to school, the she does actually complete this time, last time she dropped out just after the point where you couldn’t get your money back. However, she doesn’t find work in the industry, they ask me to help since I am an employment counselor, but she doesn’t really try very hard or follow much of my advice before giving up because she is so used to things just falling into her lap, she doesn’t like having to work for things. Then she gets pregnant, and we all know you can’t look for work when you’re pregnant right….
Skip a couple of months; we are getting married, the biggest day of our lives, aside from when we lost Evan. She is being a total bitch, mood swings ect…She actually says to me as I watch people setting up the reception, "Must be nice to just sit on your ass and give orders"…See I couldn’t set up cause I had had bridal Mendhi, aka Henna, done on my hands, front and back and it was drying. Everyone loved the henna and kept complimenting it, which meant I got attention that Sara couldn’t stand, and she says to me " If I have to hear one more thing about your fucking henna I am going to puke"….no I kid you not. Later that day, my mom was sitting outside with Sara’s husband Sam, having a glass of wine and chatting, and laughing, I guess Sara got jealous cause my mom and Sam were getting along so well, so she looked at my mom who was giggling and said "ha ha ha have another fucking drink Leona"…my mom was flabbergasted as she didn’t know Sara and was just in town for the wedding. Ok….morning of the wedding..Sarah is my makeup artist, Dave’s mom made it clear that I should let my sister in law do my makeup; since she really is good at it I was fine with that idea. Minus the fact that she is unreliable. She was late, like hours late. I couldn’t put my dress on until my makeup was done, the photographer was there waiting…We ended up being two hours late for the wedding because she was strung out after her big night out to unload some of the stresses of my wedding. Did I mention she was pregnant with her daughter at this point? So at the reception, Sara and Dave’s mom are greeting people as they come in, Donna is showing off her pretty pregnant daughter to all her friends and family. At one point…seriously…someone asked Dave if we were going to have children soon, and Dave’s mom actually butted in and said, no but my daughter Sara over here is pregnant…(She neglected to mention, and she is using crack cocaine often)…The next morning at our after wedding brunch, Dave’s mom paid for Sam and Sara’s breakfast, we paid for our own. No one offered. I mean we have jobs right? Then we jet off to NB for a reception for my Maritimes relatives. Fun was had by all, but I kept getting "Isn’t Dave’s sister pregnant?" They asked this because she was drinking all night and smoking pot outside in the parking lot with my brother. My brother later told me she asked him to help her find some coke…….
6 months pass, Sara checks herself into rehab big and pregnant to stop the coke. 3 months pass, she has a perfect, full term living daughter. Now, 2 years later, Sara often leaves her daughter at her biological mother’s house, the same women who gave her FAS, the same women who when they first met when Sara was 18 shared a box of wine and a joint with her new found daughter. The same woman who is still an alcoholic. During this current subsequent pregnancy, she left her daughter with this women for a week, cause she needed a break. I cried because at this point Evan has already died. I had more break then I ever imagined wanting.
Yesterday-after all this bullshit, she had a second healthy child, a baby boy. Dave was shattered, in fact he could barely bring himself to talk to her last night and say congrats. I could just feel the pain dripping out of his pores. Life has been so so so unfair to this boy my heart just breaks at the thought, and he has done everything he can to keep his life on the straight and narrow and keeps getting shot down over and over. It breaks my heart. It truly breaks my heart.
Now can someone tell me..why? why does this keep happening? What does the universe have against us?