A Year in Review Meme

Take the first sentence (or two) from the first post of each month of 2008. That’s your year in review.

January: A lady Dave works for whom he has not spoke to since our tragedy called yesterday, as we knew everyone would be, to see if baby had arrived and how things went. Turns out she had a dream of him on Christmas eve when I was in labor and he was surrounded by Angels so she wanted to tell us that, needless to say she was shocked when he gave her the news.

February: I feel like I live in a bubble world, my mind to exausted to think outside this bubble of depression I live in. I really can’t think, I feel exausted all the time and I just don’t know why, no matter how much I sleep I still feel exausted and can’t think.  My husband gets upset or snappy with me because I keep forgetting things or can’t answer questions because, well I can’t think. I tell it’s not my fault it’s the depression but I don’t think he really gets it.

March: Back from Cuba, too soon if I do say so myself. I have a nice tan which is now covered up by long winter clothes. I am already missing the long lazy hazy days on the beach in the sunshine, there has been no sign of sunshine in Halifax since we got back.

April: So, much as I suspected would happen..The "Assessment" revealed that I am adapting well and in a healthy manner, and that therapy is not what I need at time so much as a support group or place to talk and get it out.

May: Stunning weather weekend, lot’s of sunshine and warmth. Dave and I  did a 4 hour hike across a large salt marsh here in Cole Harbour, oh it was lovely and refreshing.

June: There are certain jingles or songs that once you hear, you just can’t seem to get out of your head. Here my top ones..and the friends who get credit for bringing them to my attention.

July: I need something to distract me…so I think we are going to buy a house. Hahah, not just a quick decision like that sounds, we have working toward it for a year.

August: We camped, it rained ALL WEEKEND. Seriously, we left Sunday night instead of at noon Monday as I had had enough. I was wet and cold and cranky.

September: Brown and tiered. It’s been a long day. The mini vacation was PERFECT, we got lot’s of sunshine and I swam in the ocean twice. Ocean love. I rolled around in my tankini in the white soft hot sand and I felt at home, as I always have by the ocean.

October: Between my full time job and my new puppy, there is no down time. I wake up at 6am walk the pup, play with him while Dave is in the shower, then take a shower while Dave plays with him.

November: It’s a mess. we are living amongst mountains of boxes, I have really bad carpel tunnel again from overdoing it with the sanding, scrubbing and painting, but were officially living in our very own home and I LOVE IT.

December:
A girlfriend of mine Colleen emailed to say that as she read through the Twilight series, she though of us while reading these words. I have to say that is a very accurate description of what it it’s like to live through the death of your child and try to maintain some semblance of normality.

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About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on December 9, 2008, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Colleen Says
    That was very interesting…. your progression of change, wrapped up in 12 paragraphs….

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