In the example of Jen! Filter it is!
Because of a few specific people I am not comfortable having read my stillbirth emo posts anymore.
Because friends only posts don’t exclude all people I don’t want to deal with anymore.
Because I am sick of feeling wrong for feeling so sad when things happen to drive home how baby-less I am.
I created a stillbirth emo filter. If you can read this your on it.
This will be just for rants related stillbirth angst and anger. Because I am tiered of people who have never had children and don’t want children telling me how to heal or to move on.
I don’t mind letting non loss mom’s into my head space, especially if they have children of their own and appreciate how precious the life of a child is. However, when someone judges me for how I am feeling or grieving and they haven’t been here themselves or just don’t get it,
it pisses me off and makes me want to say things I might regret.
So that I don’t go there and cause unecessary tension, I just choose to do this instead.
Specificaly I am talking about this comment today-
"He’s moving on – and that’s healthy. Moving on and enjoying life in all it’s forms does not mean you or he are forgetting about Evan."
Some of that might not have pissed me off if a) I were not hypersensitive anyways due to the stillbirth thing and b) were it not from a person who has a history of being very negative themselves-how can someone who is so very pesimistic possibly be able to tell me what moving on and letting go means, and c) this person has NO desire to have children at all and is very open about this.
I think I took offense to the unspoken-even if I am guilty of reading into it to much.
As if to say Dave helping a friend set up the nursery and being around a newborn means he is dealing better then I am with Evan’s death.
I know this is not the case, and that I am dealing just fine. I think I would trust my counsellor’s oppinion more then some random emo stranger. I just know men and women grieve differantly. Also the fact that it seemed like an exert from a Coping with Stillbirth pamphlet or some crap. I don’t need your permision to move on thank you. You don’t move on from stillbirth, you just keep living cause you have no choice and you pray things will get better.
Some days I really don’t like People ya know.