In which you wonder how and why?


I am always on the search for answers about Evan’s. As many know they called his death post term fetal demise, they estimate I was furthur along then I thought, and I was 42 weeks the day he was born. In looking back in my entires I came across this.

"Baby is doing awesome, they reinforced once again that it is a boy, showed us his scrotum haha. He is big, I am measuring about a week ahead of schedule, have been this entire pregnancy, they estimate the little man is already 6lbs 5oz, i am so happy to hear he is big and healthy, I am a-ok with a big baby so long as he is healthy and strong, and boy is he strong, keeping me up at nights now with his kicks.
I am prepared for the fact that this guy could well come a week or two before his due date, so I gotta finish getting everything organized for him. "

Then I remembered that as my two prior ultrasounds he was messuring a week ahead as well. Didn’t think anything of it at the time as my Midwife assured me that late in pregnancy ultrasounds are no good for accurate dating. If per chance they were right, then Evan would have been nearly 3 weeks overdue. It just makes me wonder then, why didn’t I go into labor. I did everything, have my membranes swept 3x, had accupuncture and did Castor Oil 2 times, why the hell did my body not want this baby out?

Oh well, I suppose I will never know, but I sure do hope the next little one decides to come out early on his/her own or else I am evicting it at 38/39 weeks.

About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on January 18, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. your physic reading
    didn’t the reading you have say she thought it was a spiritual passing not a physical cause? Remember last year when I sent that big long New years email and in it I mentioned that he choose you to be his mom for a reason, to keep him alive for as long as possible….
    It doesn’t seem so strange now, that your body didn’t go into labour. If he wasn’t meant to be a soul through an entire lifetime. I, more so now then even before, believe it’s because he didn’t want to leave you. He wanted to stay with you as long as he could (and the “fetal squatter” as you once referred to him, got three extra weeks because he choose a mom who would let him choose a birthday)
    It’s hard not having a physical reason, and probably harder thinking about all this spiritual soul stuff, but I think it’s sweet (that’s not the right word) that your baby boy held on for almost an extra month, to be with you for as long as he was allowed….
    hope this came out right…I’m teary and emotional and not sure my words are coming through the way I want them too…

    • Re: your physic reading
      Yes, that is wonderful and beautiful. I just wish that his death then, if that really is the case, would not have labelled me as “High Risk” and thus having all these doctors that want all these interventions next time around. For instance-the consensus is now that I would take daily Lovenox shot at home for the entire 2nd and third trimester as well as for 6 weeks post partum. That makes it tougher to accept his death as a spiritual thing rather then a my body is broken and we need to fix it thing. Sigh!

  2. I am sorry that you even have to wonder and second guess these things. ((Hugs))

  3. Its hard not knowing. I hate it
    I hope my next comes early too. I will be evicting as soon as doctors let me. It sucks when you feel like babies are going to be better off outside of your body than in.

  4. I remember I measured nearly 4 weeks over what I was supposed to and I was told of course U/S are not too accurate this late into it. Whatever it may be, IDK what Im gonna do I can only assume a c-section is in my near future at 39 weeks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Gluten Free Girl and the Chef


%d bloggers like this: