Emo kid is better

After spending the day processing, I am feeling much better, I was feeling super emo this morning and to be honest I am kinda embarrassed, but I guess that’s what LJ is for, to dump when you need to dump, I tell everyone else that, but hesistate to take the same advice for myself. I also keep jumping the gun. My temp was not below the coverline, and I don’t have my period yet. In fact if I wasen’t temping I wouldn’t suspect a thing. I may get my period tommorow, I may not, however, whatever happens I have to make peace with the fact that my very own newbebe will make it’s appearance when it want’s to, not when I want it to. That’s the reality of it, I have to just let go, stop trying to control everything, if there is one lesson I have learned in the past year it’s that none of us can control life or death, we can only love fiercely and hope for the best.

I am ok. It’s a gorgous sunny day and I am in a great mood.

Ok poop talk below-be warned…
Rather then menstruating today like I expected, I am nauseous as hell and constipated to boot, which is likely where the nausea is comming from, I have 4 meals in my belly right now that won’t get out…This is serious for me, I am ALWAYS regular, it’s my thing, I don’t have constipation issues, I mean I just made a diareah post the other day haha, now it’s looking like I am going to need a damn laxative haha. Even with coffee and extensive raw fruits and veg my bowels are still on strike. Anyhow, it’s not enough to ruin my day, it’s stunning here and I am loving the sunshine.

Yes I am a weather bi-polar in case the thought crossed your mind. As far as I am concerned no anti-depressant in all the world is as effective as a day of sunshine.

About mommamaynard

β€œLife is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” β€” Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on March 28, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. if you’re not pregnant maybe this is a sign of your LP lengthening!
    i’m super constipated too. what is going on? i haven’t been constipated in ages.

  2. I always give hugs, but I want you to know that even this morning, I was still holding hope in my heart for you because I think this might be it. Your temps look good, you’re getting some good signs, and even if THIS cycle isn’t it, it WILL happen, I am sure of that.
    PS: freaking take a test already! I don’t usually have to say that to people, but COME ON! At least by monday, OK? (Do you have dollar store tests there? They’re awesome and $1 can’t be beat, even if it’s a loonie ;D)

    • Thanks Doll πŸ™‚
      I really don’t think this is but thanks πŸ™‚
      So confusing I know, but the cramps are back, I am 99% sure I will see Aunt Flo tommorow. I am ok with that, I am sure it will happen as well. If I am wrong I will take a test on Monday, but I am pretty sure I am not wrong.
      Whatever, had this have been the month, the baby would have the same due date as Evan, if next month is the month, the baby will be born the same week’ish as Evan, b/c he was 2 weeks late and this babe would be 2 weeks early. Doctors and I mutually agree on induction at 38 weeks.
      I am sure it will happen as well, I am just being a spoiled brat, I want it yesterday. I am scorpio and prone to jelous fits of envy of all my newbebe friends.

      • I actually had the weirdest cramping through the first two weeks or so (after I found out) of my pregnancy with Remy, so I don’t see cramps as discrediting anything… but YOU know YOUR body best, so I concede that my hope is nothing but pure hopefulness πŸ˜€

  3. I personally think wrapping your mind around the fact that we DO NOT have control of our lives is one of the hardest things to process/accept…..so good for you for attempting to!!!!
    And I loled at EMO KID!! heeheee—–I sooo did not think that, and totally *get* where you are coming from!!!
    Also–ITA about the SUNSHINE!!! Just seeing that it’s sunny out in the am, makes my day start soooooo much better!!!!

  4. *fingers crossed*
    ok i was really bummed this morning but now i am exicited again and I am back to hoping! I am hoping that AF does not show its ugly face! seriously.
    And you’re so right, we can’t control life or death and for me that is SO SO hard to actually accept that I have no control over what is to happen. But anyway here’s to hoping for the best.

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