Emo kid is better
After spending the day processing, I am feeling much better, I was feeling super emo this morning and to be honest I am kinda embarrassed, but I guess that’s what LJ is for, to dump when you need to dump, I tell everyone else that, but hesistate to take the same advice for myself. I also keep jumping the gun. My temp was not below the coverline, and I don’t have my period yet. In fact if I wasen’t temping I wouldn’t suspect a thing. I may get my period tommorow, I may not, however, whatever happens I have to make peace with the fact that my very own newbebe will make it’s appearance when it want’s to, not when I want it to. That’s the reality of it, I have to just let go, stop trying to control everything, if there is one lesson I have learned in the past year it’s that none of us can control life or death, we can only love fiercely and hope for the best.
I am ok. It’s a gorgous sunny day and I am in a great mood.
Ok poop talk below-be warned…
Rather then menstruating today like I expected, I am nauseous as hell and constipated to boot, which is likely where the nausea is comming from, I have 4 meals in my belly right now that won’t get out…This is serious for me, I am ALWAYS regular, it’s my thing, I don’t have constipation issues, I mean I just made a diareah post the other day haha, now it’s looking like I am going to need a damn laxative haha. Even with coffee and extensive raw fruits and veg my bowels are still on strike. Anyhow, it’s not enough to ruin my day, it’s stunning here and I am loving the sunshine.
Yes I am a weather bi-polar in case the thought crossed your mind. As far as I am concerned no anti-depressant in all the world is as effective as a day of sunshine.