Addition to yesterday’s shit list..

I forgot this one….

Here I will just cut and past it from my email so I don’t have to type it all out again.

A long time friend who is having a scheduled section on the 30th for her first child (He is bum down breach with his feet up over his head, and they were not able to turn him despite many attempts). Anyhow she is having a lot of anxiety because of the tragedies around her with baby’s and she was telling me about this girl who lost her baby to SIDS:

"A few months after you lost Evan, another friend of mine’s sister lost her little one.  She was 3 days old and died of SIDS.  Although the hospital could not say for sure, they wrote in the report that it may have been due to co-sleeping.  It was awful!" 

Well I LOST IT. Fucking lost it. Here is my reply: 

"The co-sleeping thing is bullshit, pure and simple. People all over the world except north america co-sleep, in India and in South America  ect..it’s norm to keep the baby in bed with you, it’s also norm to breastfeed, which super lowers the risk of SIDS. Mom’s keep their baby’s in bed with them so they can just roll over and breasfeed them without really waking up (eventually) or otherwise they do a side sleeper so baby is close by and easy to grab and feed. Although we have a crib, I have a bassinette/side sleeper I intended to and intend to use until at least 6ish months when the baby is strong enough to hold up his/her own head. That is my opinion of course. just saying that bottom line is, we all grew up in cribs are and  were fine, but loads and loads and loads of baby’s grew up co-sleeping and also are fine. SIDS is random and unexplainable and they think it’s related to sleep apnea, in terms of the baby being deeply asleep and forgetting to breath. Beleive me I have researched the hell out of it cause I also know someone who’s baby died napping on the couch on it’s back, with no blankets over it, so doing everything right. She walked away 15 minutes to do dishes. It’s unfortunate that these things happen, but I would never blame the parents for co-sleeping. The baby lives crammed in your belly for 40 weeks, the big open crib, alone, away from you is scary to them, that is why they stop crying when you hold them. They like to feel you next to them. Seem’s common sense to me. "

Anyhow-Another girl I know who lost her baby to Stillbirth was told it was because she ate unpasturized feta while pregnant. WTF is wrong when we go blaming the parents for something as silly as that, when other babies are born healthy to crack addicted mothers. Like WTF.

I am Mrs. Livid these days. Everything is pissing me off. A Kit Kat commercial pissed me off last night for making junk food a happy family heart warming event. I partially blame the book I just finished for the food hatred hahaha.

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About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on July 16, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Argh, I hate that crap. You know, I cannot count the times I woke up to Zinnia choking in the night. She would spit up or something, and choke on it, unable to breathe. It’s not the least bit loud when it happens; if I had been in another room listening to a baby monitor I would not have known how horribly urgent it was to get to her and turn er over immediately. But since I was right next to her, could feel her struggling and more easily sense the change in her breathing, it only took me seconds to comprehend what was happening and turn her over. Then she would gag it out and scream in terror, because she had been completely unable to breathe. Can you imagine being unable to roll your body over yourself, and to be choking? How can people leave their babies alone all night? Zinnia didn’t even have any health problems, no GERD or anything like that. This was just normal baby spit up. I have to bite my tongue so hard when people talk about the “dangers” of co-sleeping.

    • That’s just it. They can’t move themselves. If they have a blanket in their face suffocating them, they can’t move it, they can’t move their own heads yet. This is why I say I want to keep the baby near me until they are co-ordinated enough to do that, so I am all for children sleeping alone closer to 1 when they have had time to learn to move their bodies and be more aware. Aside from the nursing thing, I just wouldn’t sleep as well without my child in eyesight. I just wouldn’t. We have a side sleeper cause Dave is too nervous to sleep with a baby between us unless we get a king size bed, but thats just as fine, I can still roll over and see my baby and grab my baby.
      I hate all this co-sleeping=death bullcrap. We would be extinct if this was the case. The 60’s and 70’s set us so far back with it’s formula and crib child rearing.

      • That was my feeling on it, too. We still co-sleep because Caspian is very very attached, but with both the kids, as soon as they were crawling (about eight months), I stopped worrying about being super super careful about everything we did at night. We moved Zinnia to the bigger, softer bed so that Caspian could work on moving to his own bed (ha). And when Caspian was that age I started letting myself pull the blankets up around me the way I like. Before then, I worried about them soooo much. It’s really very true that you do not sleep deeply at all when you have a baby in bed with you, and that you’re always aware of where they are.

  2. I ate soft cheese, tons of sushi, drank red wine, rode a bike, etc. when I was pregnant with both. One lived, one died.
    I feel co-sleeping is safer than crib-sleeping.
    I hate doctors making unfounded statements like that. For all they knew, the baby developed sleep apnea becase of the respiratory-depressing pain medications in epidurals and pain medications they push onto women laboring or having a c-section, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

  3. whenever anyone dies, we always feel this need to blame someone, even though death is the only sure thing we’ve got. it is horrible, HORRIBLE, when someone so young and innocent dies, but we needn’t point the finger. if many perfectly healthy and long-living people come from parents who make incredibly bad decisions, how can we say that if someone dies young it must be the parents’ fault even though millions of other people who made that decision did not have the same outcome? ridiculous.

  4. What book did you just finish? I hate commercials like that too – makes junk food seem like the right thing to do – grrrr. And yes, it’s unfair and cruel to blame parents for their baby’s death like that. There’s so much fear and paranoia about it all. One of the greatest lessons I learned when pregnant with Charlotte was that I could do everything right and she could still die (like Abby did) or I could eat crap and do all kinds of ‘taboo’ things and she would be born healthy and just fine. Who knew? THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES PEOPLE!!!! When will the medical community realize this!? Baby deaths are unacceptable in the medical community, as if babies should never die. Well, they do. It’s heartbreaking and seems so wrong, but it HAPPENS, despite our best efforts sometimes. With all the liability issues, parents taking doctors to court (more often than not, for no justifiable reason) – it makes a real mess of what should be a normal, healthy, safe human experience.
    /rant
    😉

    • The book is called Death by Supermarket: The Fattening, Dumbing Down and Poisening of America. By Nancy Deville. I got it from the Library and REALLY liked it. She really backs up her claims with journals and research citations so you can go and research it yourself. It was a real eye oppener. Not that I didn’t already know everything she had to say, just that having it all together in one read brought it all together and made me WAY more aware the brainwashing I too am victim off. I like Big Mac’s. I know they are HORRIBLE for me. I love Dill Pickle Chips. I know though that making my own dill pickles at home would be 10000 times better for then eating factory packaged one with all the additives and crap. I have been slowly trying to improve our diet but it’s harder then one would think. One day at a time.

      • mmmm, dill pickle chips…..
        I *love* the movie “Supersize Me”, and I have the book too. Very eye opening. I’ll check out Death by Supermarket!

      • WOW i need to read this.

      • It’s really good and well written and interesting, but also pretty damn scrary. I think it’s important information though. No one beleive me (fully) when I tell them Aspertame is dangerous to children and fetus’s (to everyone but especially these groups) cause it’s a neurotoxin, it overstimulates brain cells until they die. Children’s brains are still growing so this is very dangerous. I tell Dave drinking Diet Coke while pregnant can cause Hole in Brain syndrome..we laugh but it’s true.

  5. I agree too. Blaming parents with such groundless accusations is just cruel. WTF?

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