other 19 weeks stuff..
Had monthly check up with OB yesterday, all was great. Only gained 1kg to date so not bad at all considering how much I eat.
Baby’s heartrate was fine and dandy, as was BP and urine check, so nothing to complain about for sure. Monday is the big ultrasound were I hope and pray A) all is developping as it should and B) We can find out gender.
Doctor asked how I was feeling, I said I was feeling good outside of the pelvic pain already making it’s pressence know. (Start Physio on Monday). I told her straight up, for any normal person, things are progressing wonderfully. I feel good, my skin is clearing up, I have more energy, I am not barfing as much. However for a loss momma, feeling so well coupled with feeling very limited and irregular movement means this is a very hard time for me. I keep wondering every day if everything is fine, if the baby is still thriving in there. I have no way to know at this point since I am not sick, and not getting kicked, which means you just have to trust your body is doing it’s thing. I don’t trust that my body is doing it’s thing, my body has let me down once before. I just take it one day at a time and tell myself to stay possitive and stay calm. I was so relieved things looked so good yesterday.
Mostly, I feel like a backseat passanger in this pregnancy, sitting back and watching things unfold before me, praying I get to my final destination with everyone abord still breathing and intact.