For the love of puppies.

I am having a sorta melancholy morning, triggered by finding out one of Dave’s best female friends for years is getting married today, and realizing we were not invited, and she was at our wedding. She stopped talking to us after Evan died, never called again, not once, not to say sorry, man that sucks, Dave I hope you will be ok..nothing, never heard from her again. So this all just made me sad.
Also realizing all the people who stopped talking to me when Evan died, and the people who continue to do so when I tell them I have a baby that died. Feeling sad that day after day I am forced (well not forced, but if I want to avoid drama) to pretend this is my first. Oh wow, first baby, what a blessing. Growl. I have told a couple of people this is actually my second, the first died in labour. 1 women I was emailing that I met through work, stopped speaking to me, seriously, I answered her email that this one was bittersweet b/c of Evan and he died in labour and I expected her to be all "Oh Jaime, I had no idea, so sorry". Instead, 1 month later I have never heard from her again.

I don’t have time for people like that. So this morning, when I found out via facebook about the aforementioned wedding, I felt sad and it brought alot of crap up to the surface and I was laying in bed bawling. Oliver slowly creeped up from my feet to my face and started licking my cheek hahaha, I couldn’t beleive him, I started laughing and thanked him profusely for being such a wonderful loving little fur-person.

i am so happy he blessed us with his existance.

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About mommamaynard

β€œLife is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” β€” Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on September 12, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. I am so glad you have Oliver in your life to kiss you and make you feel a little better πŸ˜€
    (Friends, blah! Who needs ’em!)

  2. LOL Oliver is soooo cute

  3. That’s so sad. My guess is that after Evan died, they didn’t know what to say, and as more time passed and they still hadn’t said ANYTHING, they just didn’t have the courage to approach you, knowing full well that they had been crappy people and they didn’t want to face the reality of THAT, as in, they didn’t want to think about what jerks they truly can be. I remember it took me quite awhile to even think what to say to you. It was so incredibly hard to sit there nursing my little newborn that I had felt had so much in common with Evan, and comment to you online.

  4. That is terrible, but at least it tells you who your true friends are and who was never really worth it in the first place.
    If only humans were as intuitive as doggies.

  5. I had the same experience after Abby died. Several of my friends stopped talking to me, just dropped off the face of the earth. And still now, when I bring up Abby’s name to certain people I get this blank/deer in the headlights kind of look that makes me want to scream. YES, losing a child is too horrible to think about, but it happened, it continues to happen to lots of people. Burying their head in the sand isn’t helpful, it’s hurtful. Not acknowledging our angel babies, pretending they never existed to protect themselves from our reality – it’s sooo hurtful.

    • OMG you know your feeling sentimental when….
      You icon just made me bawl..Thanks πŸ™‚ for real.
      Burying your head in the sand does nothing except cause crap to build up and up and up until you get chronic illness. I think the fact that I can talk so openly about it is healthy, pretending it doesn’t exist is not. I know it’s scary, and it probably will never happen to you, but pretending it doesn’t exist will not make it go away.

      • yes great icon janice, so perfect, if only more people could take a cue from that :/ *hugs* J, I am sorry for the crap, I totally know how it is. But I always think someday it will bite them in their ass, they will go through some hard time and the support they were too selfish to give will not be extended to them by anyway.

  6. I’m also just so shocked at people. We have a sick culture in so many ways. We should all take some lessons from dogs, eh?
    <3's to you. Evan counts. He's so important.

  7. Wow, I am just shocked that people would stop talking to you after such a tragic event. Its when you need friends the most 😦
    I love puppies too, when I was little we had a shih tzu yorkie mix and I loved her with all my heart. When she passed when I was 16, it was very hard. Eventually my parents got another dog, a lhasa apso named Chester that they still have right now. Even though I live so far away and no matter how long it has been since I have visited he still remembers me and greets me as if it has only been a day since we last met.
    I can’t wait to get my house out in the country and get a dog of my own. Mariana absolutely adores dogs, and I really want to get her one.

    • That is what I said some such friends.
      In fact I believe my words were “Friendship in good times is easy, its the dark and hard times that really defines how good a friend you can be.”

    • Dogs are wonderful loving loyal creatures and I adore them all. I love taking Oliver to the dog park and watching all the cool dogs and their different personalities.

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