Drama. The truth comes out.
As most suspected..there was WAY more to the story..It is done now, the friendship of 13 years has apprently crashed and burned in one 24 hour window.
I am left wondering if this girl is mentally well? We live now on opposite sides of the country and so haven’t been close in a while, however she fessed up. She has been holding grudges against me for 11 damn years, yes, from crap that happened in high school…and 6 years ago from my bridal shower. A little back story first. I had a mad crush on her now husband in high school. We made out a couple of times and talked on the phone a couple of times. Nothing major. When she started dating him she asked me if it was ok and I said sure. That is in 1996? I think, maybe 1997. The year Dave and I got engaged, they were to get married, however, a month before their wedding she called it off. My mother scheduled us a surprise wedding shower on the same day she was supposed to get married, not realizing it was her day. When I found out, I said we should move it out of respect. I told her what my mom was planning and how I felt it was not appropriate, and she said, no go ahead it’s fully ok. I offered 2x to cancel. She said it was fine, she came to the shower and brought us a gift, we had a blast and I have tons of fun pictures and video’s from the night. I guess now, 6 years later it is not ok after all….somehow. We have hung out a handful of times since this and spoke online many many times, nothing was ever said until last night’s cat situatuation came to a head. Once she blocked me on facebook completly, I sent one final email message, here is how it went:
I am sorry I upset you so deeply you would be willing to never talk to me again? I try to be the best person I can be, and I had no idea you were even trying, you never confided in me, if you had I would have been very sensitive to the stress that comes with that. I have a friend here who is going through the same thing. I am thinking you must have already been upset with me before this because it feel’s too extreme a reaction to just one conversation, so if I did anything, other then trying to explain myself and why I have no money for a fence. I am sorry. I was never seeking a pity party, friends are there to let you bitch during the hard times. I would have loved to have been able to to hear you out too, but I guess you chose not to confide in me, then get mad at me for not understanding. I did my best to help when you messaged me the other day, I don’t know if what I said upset you when I suggested a cleansing, but that was my honest answer.
That’s all, if you want to give up on our friendship that easily, it’s your choice, I can’t force it, sorry. You don’t have to answer, i just wanted to say I was trying to not let it come to this, which is why I said can’t we just agree to disagree sometimes.
Jaime.. You’re right, it is more than the fence. This has been deep rooted for some time & I’ve been trying very hard to rise above it.. It seems as though you were the one who was ready to jeapordize my friendship with you back when you moved your engagement party to what was supposed to be my WEDDING day after all the invitations were sent. That was done in extremely poor taste. I cannot forget about that, nor will I deny it anymore.
Jaime, its not about your advise on the last email about clensing.. That’s not it in any way. I’m done with trying to figure out the reasons why you say and do the things you do.. Like, there always seems to be an excuse, some way to turn it around and I’m finished with trying to figure out something that there’s no answer for.
Another thing.. Colin said you 2 never ever dated. He said it was a one time kiss in a drunken state at Fats, he kissed you the same night he made out with 2 other girls… but you told me that you 2 dated, that he went over several times, you’d talk on the phone.. I had to ask your permission to start seeing him because I believed you. Now I wonder what else has been misconstrued…
I’m not throwing away anything that hasn’t been tarnished already.
I just have to respond, I feel attacked and like I have to.
You have been holding a grudge for a million years over something my mother did?? I recall saying to her it was wrong and I didn’t want it that day, I even told you at that time she was planning it and I thought it was wrong, and I was going to tell her to change it, and you said no, it was fine..I knew that was bad, I knew it and I should have gone with my gut.
I don’t give a shit about high school, Colin and I were NEVER serious, I never said we were, we kissed a couple of time and talked on the phone a couple of times, you asked my permission cause you knew I liked him, and as a friend, you wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be hurt if you went for him. I appreciated that and thought it was a good friend thing to do. It was HIGH SCHOOL, you are married to him now. We have all moved way on from there, I thought.
I have never made up anything or lied to you, and wow, I am so shocked by all of this.
If this the way it’s going to be then I am so fine with this friendship ending, just sorry it came to this. Maybe you should learn to actually tell people when they upset you instead of letting it build up for like 6 or more years. Damn!
The End. With friends like that who need’s enemy’s? I was talking to mom, like I always do, we are close and she was soooo shocked about this. She was like that girl has always had issues, just let her go. Man on man, I am so hurt by all this, but I realise it’s not worth it. She is so not an important fixture in my life, and this attack was so mean and uncalled for.
I think I have figured out the bottom line here. She is hurt by all my pregnancy updates on facebook all the time, talking about the baby kicking and growing, and is bothered by my complaining about hip pain and heartburn because she has been unable to get pregnant. She feel’s I shouldn’t complain or whine and should just be greatful. (Cause I am not right?) I understand this because this how I feel when people complain about parenting, like shut up and be greatful your child is alive…so I get that. However, it is not excuse to attack a friend like she did, ever. I am sorry for what she is going through, I am not sorry I am pregnant, I am overjoyed, over the moon, I appreciate every kick, every day of heartburn, every ache, it all means my little one is growing and developing and I can’t ever take that for granted, cause it can change in a heartbeat. Litterally.