Man oh man, the dreams!!
Pregnancy does a number of your brain. Even before I was a loss mama I had these scary dreams about Evan. The good news is that my baby ALWAYS survives unscathed in my most recent dreams, phew! I need to start writting these down or else I forget them quickly.
Last night I had a dream that Dave bought this big victorian mansion for our family. It was beautiful and I was super excited. As I was walking around exploring the many rooms and admiring the beautiful wood everywhere, I remember thinking it was odd that the previous owners had left the TV’s, furniture and art work. In the formal dinning room there was cherry wood everywhere and carvings of scary creatures. I started feeling nervous and noticing that all the artwork on the wall’s had a dark theme about them. I went to find Dave to tell him that the house made me feel uneasy, however he was acting strange. His mother was with us, and somehow I sensed that she knew that this house was bad all along, but was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I realised at some point that Dave had been possesed by some evil spirit inhabiting the house, and he was on a mission to kill me and offer our baby as a sacrafice to this demon spirit thing. The house had a history of being the basis of a satanic cult were baby’s were given as sacrafice. I was terrified. The rest of the dream was Dave trying to get to me to get the baby, and his mother and friends of mine trying to protect me from him. I remember my maternal instinct was on overdrive, all I knew was I had to protect the baby, nothing else mattered.
I don’t know how it would have ended, cause Dave woke me up in real life and I was so greatful. I was terrified.
He laughed of course when I told him about it. Made some offbeat joke about how he would never give up our baby, but I should behave myself of he might consider giving me up. All I know is I looked at my tiny little bungalow and kissed it and thought, I am so greatful with what I have, I don’t need some huge scary mansion, I just want health and comfort for my family and this is enough.
Man, oh man, scary. Is this the trade off for a restful night’s sleep, one night with no physical discomfort is traded off for nightmares.