Man oh man, the dreams!!

Pregnancy does a number of your brain. Even before I was a loss mama I had these scary dreams about Evan. The good news is that my baby ALWAYS survives unscathed in my most recent dreams, phew! I need to start writting these down or else I forget them quickly.

Last night I had a dream that Dave bought this big victorian mansion for our family. It was beautiful and I was super excited. As I was walking around exploring the many rooms and admiring the beautiful wood everywhere, I remember thinking it was odd that the previous owners had left the TV’s, furniture and art work. In the formal dinning room there was cherry wood everywhere and carvings of scary creatures. I started feeling nervous and noticing that all the artwork on the wall’s had a dark theme about them. I went to find Dave to tell him that the house made me feel uneasy, however he was acting strange. His mother was with us, and somehow I sensed that she knew that this house was bad all along, but was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I realised at some point that Dave had been possesed by some evil spirit inhabiting the house, and he was on a mission to kill me and offer our baby as a sacrafice to this demon spirit thing. The house had a history of being the basis of a satanic cult were baby’s were given as sacrafice. I was terrified. The rest of the dream was Dave trying to get to me to get the baby, and his mother and friends of mine trying to protect me from him. I remember my maternal instinct was on overdrive, all I knew was I had to protect the baby, nothing else mattered.

I don’t know how it would have ended, cause Dave woke me up in real life and I was so greatful. I was terrified.
He laughed of course when I told him about it.  Made some offbeat joke about how he would never give up our baby, but I should behave myself of he might consider giving me up. All I know is I looked at my tiny little bungalow and kissed it and thought, I am so greatful with what I have, I don’t need some huge scary mansion, I just want health and comfort for my family and this is enough.
Man, oh man, scary. Is this the trade off for a restful night’s sleep, one night with no physical discomfort is traded off for nightmares.

About mommamaynard

β€œLife is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” β€” Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on October 20, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. oh, that dream scared me – and I am wide awake! Glad he woke you up at the right time!

  2. a) Pregnancy dreams suck (unless they’re about sex or something cool.)
    b) I’m still putting together a cool package to send you. I forget, did you already give me your address? I think I need it again…
    c) (because a c is needed) ((((((((((((((((((love and hugs))))))))))))))))))

    • Awww Lexie, you ARE the best. I am having a damn bad day and just feeling like EVERYONE that I thought would be excited and supportive in this pregnancy are turning out to be exactly the opposite. Unreliable and just a huge dissapointment, and I am SOO sensitive, that this bothers me on such a deep level. I foresee a private post about this soon, maybe later tonight.
      Anyways, you are the best, and you barely know me, so what does that say? Sigh. Humanity.
      Anyhow you did have my address, cause you sent me Pinter’s booties if you recall πŸ™‚
      Once again it is : 8 Hilchie Road, Dartmouth, NS B3A 1T6
      THANK YOU……I am so happy you and your kind soul exist.

      • (((((((more hugs))))))))
        it’s tough. I’m sensitive, too. Life is really difficult sometimes. I knee that from an early age, but even then there are things you just don’t know exactly HOW hard they’ll be til you go through it. And friendship? Seems to be one of the hardest things, which is confusing and awful and sucks. And add to that family and their failures? Oh my! It’s enough to send anyone back to bed!
        (To be honest, it’s easier to be supportive online, especially on LJ and/ or FB. I do consider myself a supportive friend in real life, too, but that gets more complicated. Sigh.)
        I did send you the booties! I’m just not sure I saved your address! LOL Thats not one of my stronger orginizational traits… LOL
        I hope your day gets better!

      • people suck, whatever. You know i’m super freaking excited for your pregnancy!!! I love it!!! πŸ˜›

      • Thanks Mellisa. Some of it seem’s so silly when I think about what you have been through with your family, but I just want to scream sometimes. Damn! why can’t we pick our own families.

  3. augh i always had the creepiest scariest dreams when i was pregnant. id wake up in a cold sweat with my heart pounding, sometimes in tears and it would put me in a horrible mood for the rest of the day 😦
    oh and let me check out the storage unit. i read your comment in downwardlashes’ journal about needing bunting and if i still have it ill give it to you free, lol. if shipping is nuts i might ask you to chip in on that. i have soooooo many winter girl clothes. the bunting is pink though. it’s all pink and purple i think. lol.

    • Cool thanks, that would be awesome.
      Any girl winter clothes sized 0-6 months that you want to part with, I would be more then willing to pay for the shipping, no problem. I am still going to buy on Saturday cause it’s only $10.00 and is like brand new. but nothing wrong with having two.
      I have like a million T-shirts and onsies, but I need like warm fleece jammies, warm sweaters, mitt’s, ect..

  4. That is a scary dream! ugh, I had horrible dreams of visiting dead babies when I preg with Noah

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