The sickful sleeps.
Well I took a bath after I wrote in last night and tried really hard to trance out in the tub, to stop thinking about my lungs and just relax my mind. It must have worked at least a little cause I did manage to sleep uninterupted from 3:30-6:30 when Dave woke up for work. A great 3 hours. Then I got up to pee and tried to go right back to sleep, and did manage to sleep from 7-10:30 but it was on and off and filled with alot of coughing fits. So I got let’s say 5 hours of sleep last night, a bit better, sadly I don’t feel any better today, my head is still fully congested and throbbing, my chest is on fire and I can’t stop coughing, but baby was starving so I had to wake up and eat.
It sucks that in these last days I have virtually no appetite and have to remind myself that baby still need’s to eat and drink, I can’t taste or smell and I feel nauseous from all the coughing, so I don’t really want to eat.
I see my OB tommorow for a standard check up, I will be spitting distance from 37 weeks. I will tell her I have this brutally sick with no sign of releif for a full week and what does she suggest next? I am officially out of ideas, doing all the things that typically work for me are just not working this time around. I even spent an hour outside at the park with Oliver yesterday, hoping the exercise and fresh air would help me sleep and obviously it didnt. one can’t sleep when they can’t stop coughing and can’t breath. I know it’s only been a week, but this is officially the longest I have been "this" sick. it usually peaks for 2-3 days then slowly tappers, feeling a bit better each day. There is no tapper in this cold, in fact it’s worse today then it was last week and it’s making me wonder if I actually do need antibiotics to kill whatever is making my head and chest full of green mucus.
I HATE all drugs especially so when pregnant, I am paranoid enough, I was terrified to even take the cough syrup I was assured was safe, I just don’t want to take any chances ya know, I just want this baby out so I don’t have to worry the effects of the drugs on her system. I know I still do in nursing, it’s just to a lesser extent.
My maturity level is slowly dwindling away with each day that I can’t chill and prepare for baby because it’s to just be..period. I am seriously feeling a toddler who is cranky, self absorbed and I want to throw my toys around and be angry.