OMG I cannot believe in 3 days….we will talking induction date and it could be as soon as the next day, 4 days, but max 7…oh I hope they don’t make me wait 7, I think I will cry. So close, these days are so filled with hope and yet so scary. I really thought she was making her way out yesterday, last night I had contractions through my lower back, which is new for me, they are increasing in strength but staying irregular. Ah well. I realise these things are out of my hands at the end of the day.
We are so ready for her, as scared as we are, the nesting took over and we prepared, all her clothes are washed and ready, folded away and hanging up. All her diapers are washed and organized laying out waiting for her. The basinette/bed side sleeper is ready, it is so beautiful and perfect, I have a crazy soft lambskin that was gifted to me that I lined the matress with, if my girl can’t have soft blankies over her, she is going to be sleeping upon a bed of softness (it’s short pile, it’s lamb, far away from her face, no panick from any SIDS people out there) For now I put the pink teddy bear with her heartbeat recording in it’s belly into the basinette to keep it warm for her haha. It’s the perfect height, I tested it out last night, arms reach from bed, I don’t even have to get up, just grab and pull into bed for nursies. Because it’s on wheel’s it’s mobile, I can move it all over the house with me. It plays music and vibrates.
Mom bought it for Evan and we had it set up in our room waiting for him. Last night as Dave was re-assembling it, his eyes watered up a little, he said "I remember how excited and hopeful I was setting this up for Evan, I couldn’t wait, I never realised he would never come home and never get to use it. " How horrible for a first time Dad to come home and take apart all the things he spent so many love filled hours preparing for his son. My heart broke all over again for him and the fact that he will never ever meet or know his first son. Life can be cruel.
I am hoping that many love filled hours with Evangeline help ease that pain just a little for him. I love Dave so unbelievably, he is the best person, such a wonderful friend and husband, and he will be such a great father, I just want him to have the hapiness he so deserved and has struggled to attain his whole life. I just choke up when I think about it all.
Anyhow. We are ready, our hearts are waiting to hold our girl, she is doing so well, so active last night and today, so healthy and strong, she just has to make a few more days now.
On the diaper front, I scored a dozen used prefolds, I can’t tell if they are crap Gerber one’s or decent, they are lable free and from a local moma who had them given to her but never used them so gave them to me, so it’s basically gonna be a trial and error situation, if nothing else I can use em as doublers. She also gave two small and one medium very well loved Nylon, velcro closure original style bummies covers. I read they are not spectacular but make good swim diapers so that will work. This diapering thing is going to be like a scientific experiment in containing explosives poops and pee’s haha, which combination is the most effective at which stage of growth.