Dear Jaime…

Dearest Jaime:

Please stop stressing over your mother, you say you don’t care but you must if it’s consuming your every thought. You will be fine with or without her..you and Dave will figure the baby thing out, you will not fail with getting a baby to stop crying or making sure it’s fed. You will be fine.

Sincerely,
Yourself.

The update is she is comming today, yeay, perfect, she will be here for E’s last ultrasound just as I wanted. She was coming at 2pm because she had an interview at 10am this morning and would hop on the 2 oclock bus and arrive just after dinner. Perfect. BUT her interview was rescheduled til "next Tuesday" do to the snow storm there today. She seems to think this is perfect, more time to prepare today to come here. I think she is not thinking…there is a big possibility the doctor is going to say the induction is Monday, if it’s true they don’t do planned weekends and if she want’s to wait to the half way point between 38 and 39…so that means if she has an interview Tuesday morning she will STILL MISS the damn delivery, cause she would have to leave Monday and go the 4 hours back to freaking ass Moncton to be there for Tuesday  morning. GROWL!! In all reality I know she won’t miss the delivery, that this is the most important thing to her, but It super sucks because the interview is a good thing..she was laid off in May and really want’s to get back to work, it’s been super hardon her self esteem just sitting home all these months. and I have done so much to help her get to this point..but does everything have to happen the week her grandaughter is scheduled to born? The timing just sucks ass here and is making me super stressed, I just want her here for the 2 weeks she said she would be here to help with the baby..that was the plan all along and I hate that everything is crumbling with that scenario at the last minute with her breakup, move, job interviews ect… I mean cripes, they might ask her to start next week, then what?..then I am alone here til end of Feb. I told Dave’s mom to come last week of Feb first week of March since my mom was supposed to be here for 2 full weeks…so that is when she booked her flight for Toronto. Again I am left feeling like a selfish bitch here, but this is a hard enough time, I just want the other stuff to work out..I don’t want to have to worry about getting my mom to and from buses ect…

I am just relieved Dave will be here. Dave is being laid off Friday or as soon as I go into labor, whichever comes first. He will collect unemployment for a couple of months and stay home with me, just doing casual work on the side. We will be poor but I am relieved to have the support, thruth be told I am terrified, almost as terrified about how to parent a newborn as I am terrified to loose the opportunity again. I know it will work out and people always manage but things are just feeling sorta overwhelming this morning.

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About mommamaynard

β€œLife is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” β€” Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on January 20, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Why don’t they do it on weekends? This might make me mad about my job, if I don’t like the answer.

  2. Dear Jaime,
    You are an amazing person but a girl who lets her thoughts get ahead of her universal wisdom!!! You are going to ROCK at this Mama thing, with or without your Mama there for the birth/home coming. You are going to know what to do, you have the most in-tune instincts of anyone else I have ever spoken to. You know this is all going to be ok and is all ok. Just let the other thoughts run their course, and repeat only the positive ‘you rock’ messages back to yourself!!
    Be kind to yourself J, its going to work out ok this time… it just has to πŸ™‚
    xoxox

  3. Hun,
    If you need me for anything,I’m here sweetie.I’ll come help out with meals at your place on weekends or when I don’t have my daycare child.
    I haven’t forgotten your chocolate cookies .I’ll make them the weekend for you .
    Hugs

  4. Keep letting it go (as many times as you have to l, everytime you notice you’re obsessing about it, repeat to yourself: I am enough. I will be fine on my own. Things with my mom will work out for the best. Etc… Whatever variation on that theme works best for you.)
    You will be OK.
    ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
    PS: my mom never came out after the birth, we didn’t see her til we flew to CA when Rems was 4 months old. My MIL and FIL came out for the Bris, but my MIL got so upset at us that she cut her weeklong visit short by 3 days! (She decided to go to Florida for a vacation instead!!!) I don’t think any of that impacted my PP though! Eff ’em, that was my attitude!

  5. things work out the way they need to. the timing is great that dave will be home to support and help you, and your mom will be able to explore this opportunity that will make her feel like a functioning adult again, and then she’ll be able to join you after that, once you have adjusted to being a family of three. don’t underestimate yourself, this will be amazing.

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