Please stop stressing over your mother, you say you don’t care but you must if it’s consuming your every thought. You will be fine with or without her..you and Dave will figure the baby thing out, you will not fail with getting a baby to stop crying or making sure it’s fed. You will be fine.
The update is she is comming today, yeay, perfect, she will be here for E’s last ultrasound just as I wanted. She was coming at 2pm because she had an interview at 10am this morning and would hop on the 2 oclock bus and arrive just after dinner. Perfect. BUT her interview was rescheduled til "next Tuesday" do to the snow storm there today. She seems to think this is perfect, more time to prepare today to come here. I think she is not thinking…there is a big possibility the doctor is going to say the induction is Monday, if it’s true they don’t do planned weekends and if she want’s to wait to the half way point between 38 and 39…so that means if she has an interview Tuesday morning she will STILL MISS the damn delivery, cause she would have to leave Monday and go the 4 hours back to freaking ass Moncton to be there for Tuesday morning. GROWL!! In all reality I know she won’t miss the delivery, that this is the most important thing to her, but It super sucks because the interview is a good thing..she was laid off in May and really want’s to get back to work, it’s been super hardon her self esteem just sitting home all these months. and I have done so much to help her get to this point..but does everything have to happen the week her grandaughter is scheduled to born? The timing just sucks ass here and is making me super stressed, I just want her here for the 2 weeks she said she would be here to help with the baby..that was the plan all along and I hate that everything is crumbling with that scenario at the last minute with her breakup, move, job interviews ect… I mean cripes, they might ask her to start next week, then what?..then I am alone here til end of Feb. I told Dave’s mom to come last week of Feb first week of March since my mom was supposed to be here for 2 full weeks…so that is when she booked her flight for Toronto. Again I am left feeling like a selfish bitch here, but this is a hard enough time, I just want the other stuff to work out..I don’t want to have to worry about getting my mom to and from buses ect…
I am just relieved Dave will be here. Dave is being laid off Friday or as soon as I go into labor, whichever comes first. He will collect unemployment for a couple of months and stay home with me, just doing casual work on the side. We will be poor but I am relieved to have the support, thruth be told I am terrified, almost as terrified about how to parent a newborn as I am terrified to loose the opportunity again. I know it will work out and people always manage but things are just feeling sorta overwhelming this morning.