It’s all comming to a head…I am feeling overhwhelmed now that the countdown is on.
I am a mess of tears and mood swings today, my mind is all over the place, and I just can’t believe we are so close to meeting her.
I am being like boarderline irrational, I just lost it on the phone with Dave. I think I am in for a bumpy road ahead with all this emotion.
I just feel so helpless sitting here at 38 weeks, my childs arrival out of my hands and in the hands of a hospital and doctor..If I could choose the date I would choose tommorow or Friday morning, I am hoping that they go with that…I can see them wanting me to wait to Monday cause it put’s me at 38w 4 days..I am just lossing myself into my head, all the thoughts and ideas and worries..I think 38 weeks is good considering most loss mama’s delivery by then..at this rate of worry and stress and emotional mess my BP may be up enough tommorow that they don’t want to wait. Is it sad that I am hoping for a high BP so I can have her out already….
And I have managed to keep so cool all this time..
It dosen’t solve my mom stresses anyways, cause I relized even if I am induced Friday, I won’t be released from hospital until Monday anyways so if she has to head back Monday she still won’t be here for the most important time I needed her, the comming home with a new baby part. Oh well, everyone is right, Dave is right, we will manage. I am just not in a logical emotional place today..