Overwhelming…

It’s all comming to a head…I am feeling overhwhelmed now that the countdown is on.
I am a mess of tears and mood swings today, my mind is all over the place, and I just can’t believe we are so close to meeting her.
I am being like boarderline irrational, I just lost it on the phone with Dave. I think I am in for a bumpy road ahead with all this emotion.
I just feel so helpless sitting here at 38 weeks, my childs arrival out of my hands and in the hands of a hospital and doctor..If I could choose the date I would choose tommorow or Friday morning, I am hoping that they go with that…I can see them wanting me to wait to Monday cause it put’s me at 38w 4 days..I am just lossing myself into my head, all the thoughts and ideas and worries..I think 38 weeks is good considering most loss mama’s delivery by then..at this rate of worry and stress and emotional mess my BP may be up enough tommorow that they don’t want to wait. Is it sad that I am hoping for a high BP so I can have her out already….

And I have managed to keep so cool all this time..

It dosen’t solve my mom stresses anyways, cause I relized even if I am induced Friday, I won’t be released from hospital until Monday anyways so if she has to head back Monday she still won’t be here for the most important time I needed her, the comming home with a new baby part. Oh well, everyone is right, Dave is right, we will manage. I am just not in a logical emotional place today..
 

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About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on January 20, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I have always been amazed at your courage and am not surprised that you are feeling lots of worry and anxiety at this very critical time. Of course you are! ((hugs)) I am thinking of you and can’t wait til you have your beautiful baby girl safe in your arms.

  2. This is an incredibly hard time for anyone, and especially hard for you. I’m sending lots of love, and really hoping she’ll be here soon. I wish there was something more I could do… (((HUGS)))

  3. Support
    Hello,
    I don’t normally post but I am always cheering you on. Don’t be so hard on yourself, I think you are doing a great job at keeping it together even if you did have a meltdown today. You hang in there and you tell those docs enough is enough and it is time to bring this baby home. The amount of anxiety, fear and stress you are having is a good enough argument for bring your baby girl home. Hang in there, you are strong and you can do this. Hugs to you all!

  4. Just walk in and demand they serve her an eviction notice!! Enough is enough get that squatter out of your womb and into your arms!! 🙂 *fingers crossed* hope they give you the green light on induction Tomorrow! xoxox

  5. i can certainly imagine how overwhelmed and stressed you must feel. you’ve spent so much time and effort and emotion getting to this point, so of course it is all coming to a head now. *hug*
    you will definitely manage. it is crazy and hectic and stressful no matter who’s there or not there to help, but you will manage as have our foremothers for thousands of years. if that helps. i don’t know why but i found the cavewoman idea very soothing in late pregnancy, during birth, and during breastfeeding troubles, just thinking about HOW VERY LONG we have been doing this.
    not like that is very helpful when you are in that emotional state and you just can’t rationalize yourself out of it. but you have come so far and done so awesomely, and think of us all here rooting for you! you already ARE managing it all, and you will continue to do so.
    sending the best vibes for her to come out safe, healthy, happy, and SOON!

  6. So sorry to hear your saddness hun.I completely understand what you are going through. I hope the drs will give your the induction very soon,like maybe Friday.
    The excitment of arrival of your little girl will be emotional.So many feelings and worries go running in your head.
    I wish and pray for lil miss Evangline to arrive soon.Healthy and happy in mommas and daddy’s arms.Love you my dear friend.Know that I’m hear for you.
    Hugs and Love

  7. both you and Dave are very present in my thoughts and prayers these days. I know everything will be wonderful for you both. HUGS.

  8. I believe that all will be alright and in a week from now, you will have your little one in your arms… hugs… my thoughts are with you.

  9. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

  10. *hugs** I know its so scary at 38!! I was terrified, I just knew in my heart I couldn’t go to 39 weeks, and I got to 38w6 I think.. just *HUGSSSS* and prayer from my end!

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