I felt so much better after meeting with and chatting with my old midwife the yesterday. She thought E. Looked wonderful and assured me that E. Is a normal healthy baby despite the nightime crying. She told me she hears this all the time, that parents often call it the witching hour and that babies cry in the evening more for some reason. She told Dave that once we have tried everything and she is full and changed and just won’t settle that he is not wrong to just let her cry whilst rocking her in his arms. That she will not be damaged for life and she will know he is holding her and loving her. That sometimes babies just need to cry to get nervous energy out but should just not be left alone in bed to cry it out. Just tell them you love them and hold them close and let them cry.
I keep saying he and Dave because I just don’t have the ability to let her cry, even in my arms, even if everything I am doing seems to only be postponing the inevitable.
Tonight for instance, as per usual at 8 o’clock she started being grumpy and it slowly progressed into full on crying. I wore her around the house til she calmed and went to sleep. Fast asleep and happy I tried to transfer her to bed but she woke up as per usual so I lay in bed with her in a dimly lit root and nursed her for an hour. I started to nod off exausted from last nights cry fest. I awoke to the sound of a baby screatching at me, furious that my breast had fallen out of her mouth. I had spent nearly 3 hours calming a fussy baby trying to keep her from screaming as she does and I was exausted. Dave took her and said he would get her to sleep so he is now rocking her in the other room and she is crying and crying snd crying and he is talking to her and reassuring her all is fine. I know she is fine and safe and loved but I can’t handle those cries. I feel so helpless because I know I litterally have tried EVERYTHING,seriously, in the past month to help prevent these evenings, nothing helps, it only postpones the inevitable and she cries like this anyways. It’s something she is just going to outgrow. In the meantime I am just hoping to get through with my sanity intact. Your babies cries are the most horrible sound in the world. When they say fussiness peaks at weeks 6-8 they weren’t kidding every single night for the past 5 nights have been the worst nights yet. I pray it’s downhill from here. She is an angel all day long so what the hell is it with dusk that makes my baby cry like she’s being abandoned or seriously injured despite everything being perfectly fine. Not a question, more of a statment. I just need to vent I am gonna stick to my doctor and midwife and intuition for advice on this one cause I am feeling so overwhelmed with info right now.
Seriously that sound makes me want to knock myself unconscious whilst Dave handles it so I don’t go insane sitting back helpless.
Please let her outgrow this sooner then later. Please let her notbe damaged emotionally from all this crying, I kiss her like a million and a half times a day and tell her he much I love her. I hope she knows it and that it will outweigh the tears.
My sweet child. I so wish I knew how to make things perfect for you. All I can do is keep you fed, loved, safe and clean and I do that well.
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