RIP Sweet Kitty and anxiety stuff
I am so sad…Jaspurr is gone and it’s our fault.
We made the very hard to come to decision to have him put down tonight and it’s eating me alive.
He had another (4th) Urinary blockage/crystals, that keep’s coming back no matter what we try..He has been on special food for years and we have spent literally over a thousand dollars on him in the past 7 years..He peed all over the place this week, seriously, my whole house reaks of cat urine, so I took him to the vet. She felt she was able to treat it with antibiotics again but wanted to start him on Anti-depressant’s as she felt the infection was aggravated by the stress of the baby..she also felt it was highly likely to re-occur as it has been re-occurring every year’ish no matter what we do. I honestly just did not have the cash to pay for all these test and med’s, it would have been added to the pile of debt and put on my Visa, as it was last time he got sick. We discussed all options and since he is 12, we decided just to have him put down…
Hardest decision..my stomach is killing me and I hate myself. I hope he forgives me.
I have spent the last 6.5 months trying so hard to make this transition easier on him and I really really tried to re-home him, but no one wanted him cause of all his health problems and the expenses that went with it.
I am just having a really bad night, and the baby was fussy, likely cause I was so anxious, and I just want to run away and hide.
I don’t foresee much sleep tonight as anxiety level is like a 12 out of 10…
I just keep crying.
Dave paid to have a plaque made for me with his paw prints and some hair in it, sweet.
I am just feeling like the worse pet owner, baby mother, wife, human being tonight. I want to run and hide.
Re anxiety and depression, my doctor felt I should meet with a mental health NP to see what’s what. She said she would make me the appointment and let me know asap, it’s been over a week and nothing. I can’t believe I am going to have to call and track this down again. Same thing happened when I finally reached out for help after Evan and got the run around. When a women says she may have post partum depression, she needs help, it’s a big step to ask for it people…grr.