Feeling stretched to thin
I don’t know how you parents with 2 kids under 3 do it. I can just barely manage to keep up with one, oy. I am just beyond exhausted my body aches for rest today. It’s the combination of being so busy for a week with my friends visiting then the day they were leaving Evangeline got really cranky and has been moody since, 5 days now, and sleeping really lousy. As I said in my last post, I blame her teeth and hope something gives soon. She has been asleep only 45 minutes now before waking up crying, Dave is in rubbing her back and trying to soothe her. I need my village, I need a break just for one day so I can get caught up on my sleep and sit still for a couple of hours. When I am exhausted and the baby won’t sleep much for days on end and then is cranky all day my anxiety and depression spikes. Brings back the OMG I need my mom… I am not afraid to admit I need help. I can’t do everything and be everything to everyone. All of this has made me deeply fearful of having another child, they are a blessing and I couldn’t love Evangeline more, but the thought of twice this is scary, I am barely keeping up now. I also worry that I have to go back to work in 4 months and I don’t know if the sleep situation will improve, I don’t know how I can maintain a full caseload of clients and still manage the home after work, and not sleep more the 5-6 broken hours a night.
Anyways, we have decided to sell our house and move to Moncton while on Maternity leave with a sibling for Evangeline so I can be near my family and get some support. Wow the baby is crazy hysterical, so even though Dave is trying to help me have a break it looks like I will have to take over again. I just spent 45 minutes nursing her and getting her to sleep, but she doesn’t seem to be soothing for him. I feel so bad for her cause she is just not herself this week at all. I know all this screaming and crying is probably related to her teeth. Hard on mom cause my heart hurts for her, hard on Dad cause he can’t do anything to soothe her and also has a chronically exhausted moody wife. Oy. Times are tough in the Maynard household this week, we just want to make her discomfort go away and help our baby to feel better, for all our sanity