October 15th.

Yesterday was the day of remembrance. Loss awareness day. I remembered all our little babies who left too soon. I watched a clipped of my friend  on Breakfast Television along with IWK Spiritual Care. As they spoke of The Walk to Remember I found myself choking back tears. Strange enough, they were not tears for Evan..(I have cried so many tears for Evan but don’t often anymore, nearly 3 years later I have just found a way to incorporate that reality, and his life and death, into my day to day reality,) but rather tears for the ongoing swarms of broken hearts that occur every day. Words like "Every day a family in Nova Scotia experiences the pain of losing a child as a result of miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss" get me every time. The full term stillbirth of my perfectly healthy son was the single most horrific, heartbreaking, soul shattering event I have ever had to live through, and I absolutely hate that anyone else would ever have to know that horror. No parent should have to bury a child. I just know and feel the pain of all these parent’s, forever changed by the gaping hole in their hearts where the daily kisses and snuggles of their children should be.

Tomorrow I will walk for all the babies who have left us to soon, I will walk for all the mom’s and dad’s who’s hearts have been broken so deeply and who’s dreams have been forever altered by the loss of their child. We find a way to get back on our feet, most go on to have further children, but we are forever changed.

About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on October 16, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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