The time to no longer be a stay at home mom is slowing creeping up on me. When I stop and realize I am just under 2 months away from having to return to work full time, I cannot believe a year has passed since I left work to prepare for the impending arrival of our darling Evangeline. I can’t believe how deeply I have changed this passed year. When she was still in my belly, having never gotten to bring home a living baby, I had no idea what I was in for. Now I look at her, with her immense personality and can just barely wrap my mind around the concept that this person grew in my belly. Whoah.
The impending return to my work life is a deeply bittersweet one. I hate the idea of being away from her 5 full days a week, it’s absolutely heartbreaking. We need my income and my benefits to live, we have tried and tried to make the numbers work so I don’t have to go back full time, and if I didn’t have such a big student loan to repay it might work. The goal is to get this damn student loan taken care of as soon as possible so there is a possibility of me working just part time in the future. In the meantime, miss Evangeline will be in shared care between Dave and two of our friends who are stay at home parents. I try not to think about it to be honest cause it makes me so very sad to be leaving my little girl, I feel nauseous just talking about it. Nothing in the universe is as important to me as being her mom.
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