My first ever…

28 day cycle…Wow. Before E. I had 32-34 day cycles but this past month was 28 days. Made me laugh. Part of me would like to TTC right now, but the rest of me says wait a while..at least til she nearer two, so I will wait.

I wish I wasn’t 34, I feel like I am rushing the clock. I never wanted to be pregnant past 35, the plan was to be done by now. We wanted two babies. Oh well these things are out of our control, so I (hopefully, hopefully) get 3 babies instead, two in my arms and one in my heart. I want my Evan but I have to accept it couldn’t be.  I hope we have a boy next time, I wanted a girl this time, but now I feel sorta ready to raise a boy (emotionally). 

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About mommamaynard

β€œLife is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” β€” Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on December 21, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I hear you! I didn’t want to be 35 and pregnant as well. Now it seems like I will be since I turned 35 yesterday and we still want another baby. We too wanted 2 babies, but looks like it will be 3 as well. Sigh….we’ll see. Some days I really want another baby and other days I am happy and content with just having Charlotte here with me. After all we went through to have Moira and then to lose her and then to be scared through my pregnancy with Charlotte, the thought of going through it again just doesn’t please me. I love being pregnant and I loved my belly and feeling my babies move around and all of that, but I just don’t know if I am ready to go through all of that again. We’ll see. It may change, since we don’t really want Charlotte to be our only living child. We would like her to have a living sibling.

    • I know right? I find myself yearning to be pregnant again, then I remember the stress, anxiety and the blood thinner daily shots and I feel sick. What to do, I want and need a sibling for E. but then I am afraid of the getting them here process. Then I fantasize next breath about getting pregnant now…. All I know for sure is that now is not the right time on so many levels.

  2. Saw Dave at the grocery store tonight, too shy to say hi. πŸ˜›

  3. Omg We are totally menstruating in sync!!! My third pp period started Friday, day 27 LOL.

  4. I feel like I am rushing the clock. I never wanted to be pregnant past 35, the plan was to be done by now.

    I totally hear you, on this. :/ I’m 35 now, and not even sure when we’re going to start trying for #2.

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