More dead baby triggers
Watching Boardwalk Empire with hubby, when Steve Bushimi breaks down and tells his sons story:
He tells that almost eight years ago he’d just become City Treasurer. His wife had their child and they named him Enoch after him ("she wanted it"). The baby was tiny and he was afraid to hold him, for fear of breaking him. A week later, Nucky was busy and came home to find Mabel in the nursery rocking him in her arms. He said she looked so calm and contented, it gave him the courage to finally want to hold him. He pulled back the blanket and looked at his face. After a long pause, he says he could tell the baby had been dead for a week. She’d been caring for him as usual, changing his diapers and clothing. Nucky held the dead child, the only time he ever did. He said Mabel couldn’t handle it. She’d broken with reality. He was "very, very busy" and a few weeks later, Mabel slashed her wrists with his razor.
My throat twitched and my eyes filed up with tears. It’s sad that I fully and completely understand how that women was feeling, and I don’t think she was crazy at all. I wish had spent more time with Evan, I wish I had held him, rocked him. kissed him. I regret my choices and I completely understand this mothers pain. If it had not been for Dave needing me, loving me, I really think I could have easily chosen death over life in those early days.
The pain of a child loss mother with empty arms is worse then any pain, anyone could ever know. It’s truly a miracle that those of us that come out with semi-intact sanity managed to do so.