The Child Rearing Cunundrum
My baby girl; She is changing at the speed of light and I am so very sad that I spend more time away from her then with her. I despise that someone else is raising her. Sure we got lucky with our care provider and she is very happy there. I also enjoy my career and do want to keep working away at it.
In an ideal world, I would work 3 days per week and that would be enough to support our family. Sadly, however, that is not the case. I went to University for 6 years, so I have a 30k student loan to re-pay, and that is to the tune of 400 a month. Add to that a mortgage payment and all the other expenses that come with home ownership and a car…and there is no way Dave can carry the load alone. Not with the measly $175.00 I get a month from the Government.
There is something wrong with a society where it costs more than a mortgage payment to keep your kid in childcare so you can work, but you get no support at all if you want to be a stay at home mom. Your education costs you a fortune, so if you want to have any type of formal education, you will have work for most of your adult life to pay it back. It’s just a terrible cycle, I work to pay for my student debt and my childcare, and I have very little leftover. I would much rather work just enough to help the family out and be home with my child. Having another will mean twice the cost of childcare, which, unless I miraculously get a 20k raise, I don’t think will even be possible. You can’t get water from a stone; we are all tapped out as it is. Maybe ‘then’, we can someone figure out a way for me work from home, or work around Dave’s schedule. I know, join the club. This is the sad song of mother’s everywhere. Around and around and around we go, handing all of our money over to a service we would rather not require in the first place.
We should take the example of other countries. Sweden for instance, I think, has it right. Specifically: *“Sweden is well-known for prioritizing quality of life in its labour laws. For example, parents of children aged eight and under have the right to work part-time (75% or more), a right of which many Swedes take advantage. Parents who miss work in order to take care of a sick child (up to 12 years old) can also receive compensation for lost income. All workers in Sweden receive at least five weeks of paid vacation per year. Sweden also has very generous laws for parental leave for new parents (of both adopted and biological children).” ALSO “”The norm in Sweden is that both parents work. Quality, affordable childcare is therefore very important to Swedes. Publicly subsidized childcare is available to all children between the ages 1 – 12. This includes both daycare for pre-school children and after-school care for school-age children. Most child care centers are run by the municipality, but there are also private day care centers and parent co-operatives, though most of these also receive government subsidies.” AND *”University studies are free for residents of Sweden as well as EU/EEA and Swiss citizens. Sweden also has publicly funded student loans and subsidies available to residents studying at the upper secondary or university level.
All I know if that my little girl is learning something new every day, and someone else is getting to see it first. That makes me deeply sad. I would have loved to be home with home with her most days ‘At Least’ until she is ready to start pre-school a.k.a 3ish years old. I love the child with every ounce of my being, and spending so much time away from her tears me apart every day. How could anyone not miss this face:
__________________________________________________________________________ All quotes derived from a document entitled: Living and Working in Sweden-and can be viewed here