My brain cannot sync with my fingertips

I find I have a million and one posts running through my head and not one of them seems to actually materialize. I know I say it’s cause I am busy, but who isn’t? Seriously though, I have been damn busy. Working FT, Parenting FT and now running 3/4 time. Life is great though, if only I could keep a running tab of it on here. Anyhow enough with the excuses, here is the latest:

1) I am officially a graduate of the Running Room’s Learn to Run Clinic, as of this week I am officially able to run 25 minutes using the 10:1 max routine. This means run for 10 minute, walk briskly for 1 and repeat. This is an incredible improvement from the day’s when running 5 minutes straight seemed a stretch. I start the 5K clinic next Thursday, feel a bit odd starting a 5k clinic when I will have completed 4 5k’s before the clinic begins…BUT I don’t feel ready to take on 10k yet, as the 5k distance is still a struggle, so I figure the next 10 weeks will help improve my 5k and build my stamina. So excited; I have definitely caught the run bug. This Sunday is my clinic goal run, the Run for the Cure 5k, it’s to raise funds for Breast Cancer Research. Anyhow, last Wednesday was Think Pink day at the Running Room and so they asked us to come to our Wednesday night run dressed in as much Pink as we could manage. I may have stolen my daughter’s pink plastic necklaces and bracelets to wear..but I will never admit my guilt haha.


I should have taken my body measurements prior to starting the 10 week Learn to Run clinic; but I didn’ I can’t demonstrate with numbers here how much my body has changed already, but I assure you it has, significantly. I am only down 3 lbs on the scale, but all my fall clothes are fitting loose, my calves are looking much more athletic and my thighs just look trimmer overall. I will grab my measurements now though and compare them again at the end of the 5k clinic. I have so many pairs of old, smaller jeans packed away in the basement just waiting for me to fit into many nice, fancy, old me jeans. I am officially smaller than pre-Evangeline me at this point and only slightly bigger then pre-Evan me, I just love that doing something I enjoy so much (running with a group, outside, along the waterfront trails) is resulting in such physical improvements as well. I also love that I am doing something just for me.

So that’s enough on the running updates. On the general life update not much has changed. Still settling into our new house, getting to the decorating stage now. Getting to know our neighbours better and just loving the new life we are establishing in Moncton. Not a single moment of regret since the day we left Halifax. Evangeline is almost 3…(wow, where does the time go?) and is all kinds of awesome. What a great kid she is. I am so grateful I get to be her mother, she is on a mission in life and aint no one getting in her way. At 32 months old the kid has the physical aptitude of a much older child. She LOVES to watch and copy professional gymnasts; while watching the Olympics with us, she attempted to re-create as many moves as she could manage. This included going full kilter off the back of our sofa, in an attempted beam dismount replica? She knocked the air clear out of her and learned pretty quick not to belly flop off furniture. She can swing on monkey bars and slide down poles at the park, just generally trying to do anything she can to give her poor mama a heart attack. Good thing Dad is less anxious than I am, he makes for an excellent spotter. We hope to enroll her in Gymnastics this winter.

Evangeline at 31 months old

We are desperately thinking about another baby. I turn 36 this year, I am not getting any younger and the longer we wait, the bigger the age gap between Evangeline and a sibling. I suppose I have just been putting it off as long as I can because it’s been a long time since I have been so happy. I am so afraid to start with another scary and stressful pregnancy, and then the physical pain I experience in pregnancy..Terrified we might lose another child and shatter our worlds all over again..terrified of losing my job and health benefits mid pregnancy, right when I need to be taking Lovanox every day (very expensive), afraid of life with a toddler and newborn and how my anxiety and possible PPD will interfere with my being the mother I want to be. Worrying is what I do…alot, hence the Anxiety Disorder…the intrusive thoughts run all around the clock..what if..what if not…Gah, it’s exhausting.

Work is excellent, great place to work, but our budget is tights and our funding is limited, and since I am the new kid in town, my hours would be the first to get cut if needs things are always up in the air. Our contract is up in March and it goes to tender this year. Basically that means that other organizations have the ability to bid against us and although we are a highly respected organization with a long-standing reputation for doing what we do well, if someone else offers a decent proposal at a lesser price  then there IS a chance we could lose the contract. It’s all so up in the air and is really the main reason I have been holding off on trying to conceive. What to do? What would you do if you were in my shoes? I am curious see hear outside opinions on the matter.

Anyhow, I shall leave you there for now and hopefully get back to doing this way more often. Thanks for reading.

About mommamaynard

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein. When it feels like your world has been shattered, and you have reached rock bottom, you must make a choice: Stay where you are and fade away, or keep moving forward. Thankfully I chose to move forward and was blessed with the two most wonderful children after the death of my first in early labor. Things are looking up.

Posted on September 28, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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