Learning to Speak your Mind!
I have always been a people pleaser. It’s built into my nature. I am the person who would bite her tongue and walk away from a conflict before speaking up. I have no idea where I learned this behaviour, or why I have always felt I am unimportant enough to let people walk all over me. Whatever the answer to it’s origins may be; at nearly 40 I have seriously had ENOUGH. I see other people speak up and call others out for their bad behaviours and I cringe, waiting for the situation to explode; and yet it rarely does. I am honest to goodness so surprised at how rarely calling someone out directly on their shit actually results in a battle for the ages. Then I think to myself how good the person who spoke up must feel having released that tension from themselves instead of just carrying it around letting it fester. I envy those people. One of the goals I had set for myself in 2014 was to practice speaking up more when I feel I am in the right or when I disagree with how a person is treating me. I assume it will get easier in time; at least I hope it does because right now it make me feel pukey. However, I feel so much better when it’s all said and done, like a load has been lifted from me that I could have easily carried around for another 6 months had I have chosen not to speak up. This is a practice I think I could get used to. I am striving to be the women I would like my daughter to be. I want to live a life that is an example for my little girls. I want more then anything for them to describe their mom as being kind and loving but also tough and demanding of respect. I am after-all just as deserving of respect as any other human being. We all exist for a purpose, not one of us should accept or be ok with others treating us like we matter less then they do. Equal to that; none of us has the right to talk down to or demean another human being. Even the most irritating of people are in your life for a reason. Light and Love.